"BY YOUR OWN HAND"
By your own hand, you did this thing.
My heart is broken, no more to sing.
I can't believe you wanted to leave,
Deserting me here to cry and to grieve.
I see your face when you were a little girl,
I loved you so much, you filled me with joy.
We talked and we talked, I thought you understood.
I didn't realize that you never would.
Your mind was so troubled, filled with despair,
I tried to help, you knew that I cared.
My daughter, "WHY DID YOU LEAVE,"
I can never know why,
I can only grieve.
Every mother wants a daughter,
that much is true,
I didn't know I would have you,
only to lose you too.
for this beautiful globe
~ COME CLOSER ~
Come closer,
can you hear the pain?
My heart can tell you thing
that my mouth cannot utter.
The mask I wear shows a smile.
It says that I am fine.
But the pain deep within.
You were taken so quickly,
there was no time for good-bye.
In one quick breath, your life was gone.
Why?
Seasons come, bringing forth flowers' bloom.
Seasons go and blossoms wane.
You, dear child, live in my heart,
and there, you will never die.
Come closer, come closer,
listen to my heart.
I remember; I will always remember.
You are there.
RESOLUTIONS FOR BEREAVED PARENTS
I will grieve as much and for long as I feel like grieving,
and that I will not let others put a time table on my grief.
I will grieve in whatever way I feel like grieving, and I will
ignore those who try to tell me what I should or should not be
feeling and how I should or should not be behaving.
I will cry whenever and wherever I feel like crying and, I will
not hold back my tears just because someone else feels I should
be "brave" or "getting better" or "healing by now."
I will talk about my child as often as I want to, and that I will
not let others turn me off just because they can't deal with
their own feelings.
I will not expect family and friends to know how I feel,
understanding that one who has not lost a child cannot
possibly know how it feels.
I will not blame myself for my child's death, and I will
constantly remind myself that I did the best job of
parenting I could possibly have done. But when feelings
of guilt are overwhelming, I will remind myself that this
is a normal part of the grief process and it will pass.
I will not be afraid or ashamed to seek professional help
if I feel it is necessary.
I will commune with my child at least once a day in
whatever way feels comfortable and natural to me, and
that I won't feel compelled to explain this communication
to others or to justify or even discuss it with them.
I will try to eat, sleep and exercise every day in order
to give my body the strength it will need to help me cope
with my grief.
I will know that I am not losing my mind and I will
remind myself that loss of memory, feelings of
disorientation, lack of energy and a sense of
vulnerability are all normal parts of the grief process.
I know that I will heal, even though it will take a long time.
I will let myself heal and not feel guilty about feeling better.
I will remind myself that the grief process is
circuitous - that is, I will not make steady upward
progresss. and when I find myself slipping back into
the old moods of despair and depression, I will tell myself
that "slipping backward" is also a normal part of the
grief process and these moods, too will pass.
I will try to be happy about something for some part of
every day, knowing that at first, I may have to force
myself to think cheerful thoughts so eventually
they can become a habit.
I will reach out at times and try to help someone else,
knowing that helping others will help me to get
over my depression.
Even though my child is dead, I will opt for life,
knowing that is what my child would want me to do.
© Deb
1998 - 2015
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